August Is The Sunday Of Summer

August starts to feel like the Sunday of summer, and we can sense the back-to-school dread creeping in long before we step into the building. We break down why counting down doesn’t protect us and practice a tiny shift that brings our attention back to the life right in front of us. 

• how anticipatory dread “taxes you twice” and fails as preparation 
• the hidden habit of mentally clocking in early and bringing school worries home 
• choosing the feeling we want to cultivate, like calm, ease, freedom, or joy 
• three questions that reveal when the countdown shows up and what it costs 
• a micro shift to notice the thought and gently return to the present moment 

And if today's episode gave you something to sit with, leave a review so more educators can find this podcast and subscribe so you don't miss an episode. 

Let’s keep the conversation going! Find me at: empowerededucator.com

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Instagram: @jenrafferty_

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Transcript

The Weight Teachers Carry

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You became a teacher to make a difference, and you do, every day, but nobody told you about the weight you'd carry home. The kids you can't stop thinking about, that feeling that giving everything still isn't enough. And the quiet question underneath it all, how long can I keep doing this? So you're in the right place. This is Unlock Your Teaching Potential, and I'm your host, Dr. Jen Rafferty, educator, author, mom of two, and founder of Empowered Educator. And here we believe that taking care of yourself is the most generous thing you can do for your students. You are a gift to this world, and it's time to act accordingly. So let's dig in. I

August Is The Sunday Of Summer

SPEAKER_00 0:41

was at a housewarming party this past weekend with a bunch of my friends for a couple who just moved into this gorgeous new house, and many of the people there were educators. And as we were standing around having a conversation about summer, someone had said to me, you know, August is like the Sunday of summer. And everyone just went, because we all knew what she meant. There's often this low hum of dread that starts, I think, even before August, you know, in July, when we're seeing back to school supplies in the stores, it's easy to get caught up in feeling that worry and anxiety about what's happening in a couple of weeks. So today I'm going to talk about what we can do differently to actually be present this summer instead of using our time to be futuring and worrying about what's going to be happening, which causes us to not actually enjoy our summer anyway. We're also going to be talking about how this Sunday Scaries Logic doesn't actually protect you from anything and how counting down is a form of leaving before you've even left. We're going to unpack that a little bit. And we're going to end with a micro shift, which is something that you can use today to make a real difference in your life.

Why Dread Does Not Prepare You

SPEAKER_00 1:52

So let's start why the Sunday Scaries Logic doesn't actually protect you from anything. Because there's a part of your brain that believes that dreading the end of summer or the end of the weekend is some sort of form of preparation for what's to come. But it doesn't work that way because if it did, we wouldn't be feeling like this at all. So this anticipatory dread doesn't actually soften the landing of September. It taxes you twice because you're worrying now and then you're worrying later once you're in it. And so you don't save yourself from anything. You're just spending more time in those disempowering feelings. So when your attention is on the days left of the summer or the hours left of a Sunday, you're not actually present because you're in a mental rehearsal of what's going to happen in the future. When you find yourself at the store and you're seeing school supplies in the middle of July, instead of being present, your mind is going to move right to the lesson plans you haven't written yet, the classroom you haven't stepped into yet. And as you know, those thoughts just don't stay at the store. They follow you home when you're trying to relax in the pool or read a good book or have a conversation with your family. So here's what I want to be clear about: being present isn't about ignoring what's coming down the pike, but it's about noticing when you've mentally clocked back in weeks or days or even hours before you physically had to be somewhere. And at what cost? Notice the cost. For example, is the cost having a good night's sleep, or maybe it's really being present with your cup of coffee. So

Finite Does Not Mean Scarce

SPEAKER_00 3:38

some of that dread can come from knowing that summer or the weekend, you know, these things are finite. There is definitely an end in sight. And the feeling is you don't want to waste it. You want to do as much as you possibly can in those moments. You know, this reminds me a lot of, you know, I live in upstate New York, and a lot of the days, particularly in the winter and in most of the springs sometimes, they're just gray or overcast and rainy. And of course, it's gorgeous here in the summer and the fall. But every time there is this beautiful day outside and the sun is shining, there seems to be this innate need for me to get outside and make sure I don't waste this day. But the thing about this is that being finite doesn't have to be scarce. For example, a good meal, if you're eating a delicious meal, that's finite too. There's an end to this. But consider that you don't necessarily spend the whole time that you're eating mourning the very last bite that you're going to take instead of tasting the first one and all of the ones to follow. Similarly, we want to be able to be in these moments, be in these days, be in that sunshine, be in the summer, be in the weekend, be with the book in the pool with your family. Without worrying about it ending, because you are going to miss it.

Name The Feeling You Want

SPEAKER_00 5:06

So here's the key here it's not really about the circumstance. Whether you're at school or whether you're in summer or whether you're on the weekend. This is about the feeling that you want to feel. So what do you want to feel? Get really clear about that. Is it freedom? Is it a sense of calm or ease? Is it joy? What do you want to feel? Because that is something that you can cultivate wherever you are.

Three Questions To Spot The Pattern

SPEAKER_00 5:38

So once you get really clear about that, I want you to ask yourself these three questions. So the first one is when during the day does your mind jump ahead to going back to school? Like what are you doing? Is it times when you're actively doing something? Is it times when you have a minute to kind of decompress and you're not busy with anything? So your mind jumps ahead. Or maybe it's during what I like to call domestic introspection when you're vacuuming or doing the dishes, or you're maybe just cleaning up the house in some way or mowing the lawn, and your mind has an opportunity to wonder when does that happen? Maybe it's some other time. Just notice, because of course we can't change something we don't notice. See if there's a pattern there. The next question is: if you stopped counting down, what would you actually be feeling right now instead? And this is a great opportunity for you to check in with those feelings that you identified before. Would you feel free or calm or joy or at ease? What happens when you start thinking about those thoughts? What do you feel instead? And what would you feel if you weren't thinking those thoughts? And the third question is: what's one moment this summer or during the weekend where you actually were fully present, where you didn't feel like there was a clock running in the background? What were you doing? Who were you with? Remember, the answers to all of these questions are used as data. We are looking at this through a non-judgmental lens where we're merely objective observers of what's going on. Because once we start putting judgment to it, we then lather ourselves in these layers of guilt, which are not helpful. We don't need this. So all we're doing is noticing, isn't that interesting that our mind is moving somewhere? Isn't that interesting that I was fully present in this moment? Isn't that interesting that if I wasn't thinking these thoughts, I'd be feeling this thing that feels really good? This is simply information. So

The Micro Shift Back To Now

SPEAKER_00 7:50

your micro shift for this week is when the thought, there's not much summer left, shows up, just notice it. And then gently come back to whatever is actually in front of you, be it your coffee, your kids, the book, the silence, nature. Remember, we're not trying to stop our thoughts. That's impossible. We can't stop our thoughts. But you get to practice choosing where your attention goes because that is what's going to create the feelings that you say that you want to feel.

Book Preorder And Closing Reminder

SPEAKER_00 8:25

So as we close out for today, if you haven't already, grab a pre-order copy of my book, The Empowered Educator 10 Lessons to Prevent Burnout, Reclaim Your Joy, and Unlock Your Teaching Potential, you can get that at my website, empowerededucator.com/slash book. It releases one week from today, August 4th. And that episode on August 4th is going to be a big celebration. You're not going to want to miss it. And we're going to be celebrating the whole month of August and of course beyond. And if today's episode gave you something to sit with, please leave a review so more educators can find this podcast and subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Remember, you are a gift to this world, and it's time to act accordingly.